COMMON FINANCIAL MISTAKES YOUNG COUPLES MAKE BY SOLA ADESAKIN

Finance, according to statistics, is one of the major causes of dissension and divorce in marriages. Stress related to money is now often listed as the number one cause of divorce actually.  Apart from the usual bonding/acclimatization issues young couples have, finance could be a major source of headache, if not properly handled.

Here are 7 Money Mistakes Couples make and tips on how they can be corrected:

1. Not Discussing Finance in Courtship

It is best to discuss Money issues whilst dating. Love is blind they say, but Money and a whole lot of other things will open your eyes in Marriage. Get to know what your Partner is like when it comes to money. Does he/she talk more about savings, investments or acquiring possessions?  It’s not a bad thing to like acquiring stuffs anyway; it will only help you identify what you will see from time to time in your marriage. Discuss in detail your financial plans short and long term; cover any and every area of family finances.

2. Not knowing the Money Temperament/values of each other.

Apart from our individual temperaments which to a large extent explain why and how we act, our background also determines our disposition to money. A man could be a natural spender, while the woman could be a saver. It could be the other way round.  They just find themselves arguing over money issues from time to time. Some are fortunate to have saver-mums who teach them the values of money on time, but imagine coming from a home where the Father is a spender and the mother is also a spender. Some will learn the hard way; whichever way, we can all become better people! Each couple should discover their positioning in each category below and strive to become better. Don’t keep saying I am wired to be a spender and I can’t help it!

• Money Values: Are you Long term or short term oriented?
• Money Temperament: Are you a Consumer/ Conserver

Thrifty/ Spendthrift?

• Money Knowledge: Are you Naïve or Suave?
• Money Strategy: Are you Deliberate or Care-free?
• Money Action: Are you an Achiever or Receiver?

3. Not Letting the Best Hand handle Finances: Sticking to Traditional roles

A lot of times, the man wants to give directions on financial issues, but he’s not even disciplined enough and cannot stick to a budget or spending plan. The woman may think some areas are her jurisdiction, but she overspends each time she is entrusted with money for some things or on other unnecessary and unbudgeted things. I am a Chartered Accountant, but way back in Marriage, I realized my husband was better than me in handling finances. He had better control and most times, I would make myself accountable to him so that my decisions are in the interest of the entire family. I have grown to doing what I technically know as an Accountant and the family is better for it. It’s not cast in stone for a particular sex to do a particular thing. Let the better person be in charge of the family finances!

4. Not having a (Family) Budget

A budget is a navigator, like a map for your finances. Individuals should have their personal budgets and there should be a budget for the entire family.  A budget is a life saver; it helps you stay on course. It should be drawn and reviewed as a family and when the children start coming, please carry them along too! Having a budget is the best place to start from. You need to figure out where your single kobo, cent, pence goes. What are the necessary and unnecessary expenses? What do we need as a family per month to avoid financial stress? Joint accounts are good, but it doesn’t work for every family. Stick to what works BUT PLAN TOGETHER ALWAYS. I am not saying not to have joint accounts; what works well is what should be adopted (Time will not permit me to go into that).

5. Not Having Trust in one another

Having said all of the above on joint budgeting and planning, you see couples witch-hunting themselves and looking out for when the other party errs. Correction should be done in love and with empathy. When couples see themselves as one flesh, they will point accusing figures the less. Everyone stumbles from time to time; especially in financial issues, but make sure you are each other’s greatest cheerleader. Has your wife overspent or overshot the budget? Correct her softly. Wives don’t nag your husband over and again over the same financial issue. If that method isn’t working, try another.

6. Trying to keep up with the Joneses

A lot of couples, young ones especially, are under pressure to impress family and friends. Life is in phases and men are in sizes. Those whom you seek to impress have had their own humbling moments too, but people hardly share their struggle stories; they only “flaunt” their success. Couples, it is good to have the best things of life, but don’t  be materialistic, don’t be possessions-driven, Don’t be under pressure to be like the Joneses, Live within your means per time; Seek God’s Favour to add Flavour to your Life. When it comes, it arrives Big!

7. Not Giving Enough

A lot of people complain how bitterly their needs and wants are not being adequately met and they tell you” how do you expect us to give when our needs are not even met?”

Truth be told, it is blessed to receive BUT it is more BLESSED to give. Financial pressures could make us close our eyes to the needs of people around. There are people who are genuinely in need and no matter how small it is, they will appreciate your generosity. Couples who give wholeheartedly have joy; in spite of their inadequacies. It is such a fulfilling thing to be able to put a smile on people’s faces.

8. Over dependence on Self-Achievements and One’s abilities.

In the marriage mix, often times, you see one of the couple doing fantastically well in his/her career, whilst the other may not be doing as much. The wife may be a homemaker; the husband may be struggling with his career. If you and your spouse are both earning good money and doing well career-wise, well done and keep it up!  Either way, everyone must know that we can receive nothing except It be given from above. Times and seasons change, life happens. Good or bad times, struggling and buoyant times, we must all learn to look above; that’s where all we have and all we would ever have come from. No man is self-made, we are products of Grace! Support your spouse per time and never look down on him/her.

To contact her, visit her blog below.

BRIEF BIO: Sola Adesakin has a BSc degree in Applied Accounting from Oxford Brookes University, United Kingdom; She is a Fellow of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria and also a Fellow of the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants of the United Kingdom. She is currently undergoing an MBA at Edinburgh Business School, United Kingdom