“Communication is the act of sending the right meaning the right way” – Victor Akunna
Life is all about relationship and communication is one of the pillars of relationship. Communication is so important, it can open doors to opportunities and it can also shut doors, hence we must learn to communicate effectively.
In communicating a vision, mission and value statement, I have noticed that having them on a wall is one step, but you must develop a strategy for communicating them to every member of the team. This is why most organisations have induction programmes to communicate the vision and culture of the organisation.
Just as with any organisation, intending couples (obviously from different backgrounds) should have an ‘induction programme’ to communicate the vision for the new family to avoid counter-culture.
Different couples have different levels of communication.
UNCOMMUNICATIVE couples talk about basic things – child care, the weather, events and the like; no personal issue is discussed. There is no emotional connection between them, they do not communicate in ways that can move them to an intimate level.
ARGUMENT-EVADING couples try to avoid discussing important, but uncomfortable issues. Rather than talk about an issue, one of them may become silent or withdraw, especially emotionally. What often happens in such union is selective conversation; talk about some things and leave the ‘stressful’ ones.
CONFRONTATIONAL couples hardly get through with communication because it mostly leads to fault-finding and a lot of argument. They never set out to argue, but because there has been a negative pattern, of course, with a lot of unresolved issues that need to be talked about, they end up arguing.
INTIMATE couples are free with each other and talk about everything, even common things. The level of openness in the relationship aids communication. They explore memories and experiences from the past and proactively analyse and resolve issues, deepening their intimacy in the process.
Communication must be genuine – say what you mean and mean what you say.
Communication must be consistent – children can have a lot of issues in an environment where there is no unified communication of love by both parents.
Communication must be deliberate – leaving your garden untended will make weeds grow easily. “The only marriage you get by chance is a boring one” – Victor Akunna
Communication needs to be customised – to get a fish, the bait must be attractive to the fish. Tailor your message to suit your spouse, each of your children…
Excerpt from one of our presentations.
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