Fake it Till You Make It? By Victor Akunna

I remember a very close friend I had while in high school, I looked up to him on academic issues and how to comport myself. He was really quiet and for some reason, I bought into the belief that being quiet like him would make me happier and more likeable. Thus, I did all I could to suppress my vibrant, friendly personality and as a matter of fact, when I ran a personality test, the result pointed out that I was an introvert. This story can be likened to the saying “fake it till you make it“. However, from hindsight I can boldly tell you that the only way to find true happiness is being yourself. Nothing is as freeing as that!

Dr. Mike Murdock had a similar experience, he wanted so badly to be like his quiet father, every time he had the urge to talk, he would produce a small card which reminded him the importance of keeping quiet. This he did for a short while until one day, he blurted out to his mum, expressing the torment he was going through within. His wise mother said something that transformed his life, she said “well, let’s ask God to give you what to talk about”.

The moral of this story is that nobody is better than you and no personality type is better than the other. We are all built for purpose/for our assignments. There are different shoes, but they don’t all serve the same purpose. Some are used for mountain-climbing, others for sports, corporate events, some to shield you from the cold, etc. Hence, it would be unwise for a particular shoe to wish it was another.

Experiencing this pain, the pain of trying to be another person or many different persons, turned out to be a gift. I made up my mind to discover, develop and deploy myself. This freed me from trying to be like the ‘Joneses’. You can’t be a genius trying to be someone else. A copy is a copy. ‘Being and doing YOU’ frees you from long term stress.?

If you have made your own transition as well, share with us how you were able to do it, did you get help?

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About the Author

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Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books. They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe. Feel free to enjoy the resources available here!

4 Comments on "Fake it Till You Make It? By Victor Akunna"

  1. Awesome write up, apparently this is one trait that can escape with us to adulthood. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. Thank you for this Mr Victor. God bless you hugely.

  3. Thank you Mr victor i like this, for its better for one to be that person that the lord made you to be. Than to be someone else but all you need do is pray and ask God to make you to be a better you (person).

  4. Thank you so much for this liberating piece. It’s amazing that people always wish they were who they are not. You see introverts wishing they could be more outspoken and outgoing as extroverts. Sometimes, extroverts even say how much they dislike “slow” people, referring to introverts; they even condemn the presentation skills or sermon delivery of such persons. We need to learn to be ourselves AND LET PEOPLE BE THEMSELVES TOO! A copy is always a copy, no doubt.

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