Help My Husband is HIV Positive!

What would you advise a woman whose husband tested HIV positive after 5 years of marriage, yet she stood by him, having sex with him, only to find out 3 years later that he is still cheating. She is heartbroken and wants to leave the marriage. Please advise by leaving your comment.

K.S

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Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books. They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe. Feel free to enjoy the resources available here!

12 Comments on "Help My Husband is HIV Positive!"

  1. Hmm, She can forgive him, althoguh it may be hard, but she is his wife anyway.

  2. Do you have evidence? How did you find out? I don’t mean to be insensitive, K.S, but I have seen many women loose their homes because they acted on what they heard. Please, verify… all the best. I feel you though!!!

  3. Adorable, Girl | 8th January 2016 at 8:38 pm | Reply

    You have already, given your all. Some men can be insensitive, wow! But I hope you do not have unprotected sex with him? If you do, I think it is foolishness not love, one of you should at least plan to be alive to look after your children.

  4. Did I hear HIV? Hmm, just passing, lol

  5. I agree at with Christy, get your facts then make plans to move on, you have the right to. However, I will still ask that you talk with him. Although, you said that “he is still cheating”, does that mean you caught him before now?

  6. It is very sad that the man could do that. Anyway depend on the woman religious level which will drive her either way forgiveness or not. I hope the woman is having preventative sex with the man.

  7. As a married couple, the both of you are supposed to be a team, two body and one soul. Marriage is for better for worse, in sickness n in health. You have done your part by sticking with him through thick and thin and he betrayed your trust in wedding vow the day he started cheating. Firstly, i’ll advise you to forgive him as hard as it seems he is only human after all. Secondly, it is totally up to you to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with an unfaithful partner as much as it is up to you to make a change and urge him to go for counselling and deliverance. Then, finally if he doesn’t change I’d suggest you move on with your life. Whatever you decide to do, seek for God’s guidance and be strong for your kids.

  8. Well, if he is on anti-retroviral and the viral copies are low, they can have sex with no risk of infection. They may not need to use condom.

    Dr. A.A

  9. Girl, you have a large heart! Please, work on protecting yourself and your children, in case he does not change. What of if he decides to bring in ‘Delilah’?

  10. @Dr. A. A – so it is possible to be intimate with an infected person and not be infected? Can you throw more light pls?

    I think she has loved sacrificially. It hurts that he has treated her the way he has. In my case, he is not discreet about it, sleeping with prostitutes. Truth is, I will not do what she has done by carrying on being intimate with him, but she has some guts.
    She needs to forgive him FOR HER OWN GOOD. There is no point carrying that baggage, you will just die before your time. What has happened has happened. Don’t start feeling sorry for yourself, live your life. Make something good out of your life and leave a legacy. Try to live right so when you are called home, you will make it to heaven.
    You may be like me, waiting for the children to grow before moving on. Otherwise, you may need to move on, not to remarry, but to get out of that adulterated environment. Only people in your shoes can understand and do not start screaming and telling her to remain in that marriage because you do not understand what she is going through.
    God is with you, don’t give up!

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