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I don’t want to lose him

I don’t want to lose him

“Dear Friends, my parents-in-law to be told me that I must get pregnant for their only son before they would allow me marry him. This is against my faith and my parents will never agree to this. More so, it took me along while to get here. My fiance is with me and insists we would not, but his parents insist that without pregnancy, there would be no wedding. I don’t want to lose my virginity. I need your advice before I make a wrong decision.”

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Comments (11)

  • ffablog Reply

    Could this be a test faith? Sometimes, obstacles like this help bring couples together.

    March 13, 2015 at 7:56 pm
  • olatokunbo Reply

    Hmm even without her faith and beliefs dat kind of pressure is already an obstacle for anyone trying to conceive. If this relationship is from God she has to trust him to change the hearts of the parents. And the groom needs to stand up to his parents if he also shares the same belief. Let dem know even if she was willing he is not.

    March 13, 2015 at 8:22 pm
  • Bash O Reply

    You said your “faith” so I want to believe you know God. God’s word is final and needs no debate. His ways are perfect for us, so if you decide to choose your love for a man rather than His ways then you should be prepared to walk alone without Him for the rest of your life. What even guarantees your getting pregnant for the next 5 years if you start having sex? At the end of the day you might end up losing your virginity, self confidence and you might even lose your fiance. Sister if you have waited this long, don’t throw it away cheaply.

    March 13, 2015 at 8:46 pm
  • Uchubiyojo Reply

    I must first of all appreciate you for keeping your self till this time. And I want you to know that God your father appreciates that more.

    I want to begin by stating that His family has something to protect as much as you have something to protect. The question is: which is more important?

    My answer is: God is more interested in You, Ɣ☺ΰЯ Life (Present and Future) than any family legacy or something and you can’t let God down!

    At this level, God is ready to go ALL the mile with You if and only if you’ll trust Him to finish Strong with You and NOT draw back cos, God has no pleasure in them that draw back!

    However, Its not what ONLY you can handle @ this time. Its tough as it is, but will be tougher if the guy (Ɣ☺ΰЯ husband-to-be) get tired and decides to accept his parent’s stand! Know that two cannot walk or succeed UNLESS they agree! You shld make every effort (prayer-fully) to keep the Man strong on her side.

    Also look out for family friends, elders or pastors whom U think your husband-to-be’s parent would listen to; so they could help talk to them!

    Your Parents (or relations); those who believe in You and what you stand for and as well relate with his family in this marriage affairs also have a part to play in this matter! They should try to talk to them on your behalf and God will honour His Word and glorify Hiself in you!

    You’ve not come this far to turn back or fail! You need God and people God can use to make them see reasons with U! But Ɣ☺ΰЯ Steadfastness, total dependence on God, Prayers, Faith and Hope, amongst other things will keep U strong and able to sail thru all of these!

    I join you in this tough times and believe God with You that you are MORE than a CONQUEROR!

    God bless and strenghten You. Amen!

    March 13, 2015 at 8:55 pm
  • odumesi olamilekan Reply

    I must admit its a tough situation for such a lady who has come a long way keeping herself intact and making her relationship work to the point of planning their wedding. However she should know that if she give in to her in-laws plan and gets pregnant before marrying the young man,there is no certainty that she would deliver the baby and if that happens what they fear the most has eventually happened and a beginning of more troubles/challenges to come
    Secondly, if she dances to her in-laws tunes now,she might be giving them an access to control their home which might be another great challenge for her in the future. But in all of these, she should remember that she cannot fight this alone. She should go to God in prayers for divine intervention,more-so,she can look for people(family and friends) around who her in-laws do listen to,to help persuade them to consider their decision and change it.
    Bottom line is,she should just ask for the help of the Holy Spirit here,have faith and maintain her stand alongside her husband-to-be.

    March 13, 2015 at 9:01 pm
  • Bash O Reply

    You and your fiance should spend time praying, this is an opportunity to settle other unforeseen problems spiritually. It’s a test and hopefully the outcome will be to your advantage.

    March 13, 2015 at 9:02 pm
  • ffablog Reply

    Sometimes, parents respond this way because of culture, fear and even selfishness. However, is it healthy to have parents in-laws with this type of control on their mature son?

    March 13, 2015 at 9:26 pm
  • Chinwe Juliana Jaja Reply

    Im glad your Fiance is on our side and not putting that pressure on you. It therefore means that both of you should start strong in prayer believing God to change their hearts. Remember, the heart of kings are in God’s hands (Ps 21:1).
    let me share with you my little story. of my. Every thing was moving on well , untill we got to the stage of tying the knot with my Ex Fiance (if there is anything like that). His mum travelled to the US where he is based for a surgery, infact that even delayed the wedding (you can imagine). when she returned, I guessed she needed someone to be her nurse or so, but i noticed some changes. He suddenly said I should resign from my job as a pharmacist and go and stay with his mum (very ridiculous right?), claiming he was going to pay me on a monthly basis. His mum and dad were the ones pushing him to do so. I said no no no!!!. When he returned to Nigeria, we had to discuss my plans for the future and it was at that point i realised he wasnt even going to support my career plans, infact he said carelessly said he wont let me do anything when i come over to US to join him, even though he denied saying he was joking, but it was a strong statement. Even after persuading him on why its not even advisable to stay with his mum, it didnt change his mind, because he had pressure from his family. I had to call it qiut oo, even though it was painful and it was a 2yr relationship. But today, Im happily married to a man who supports my dreams, knows my vision in life , and is there for me. We just finished our masters programme in South Africa, and have enrolled for PhD.
    Please do not give in to their pressures even if your Fiance gives up. I assure you, you will not regret it. His parents are just being selfish, and it means they might want to run your home in the future. If you eventually succeed in winning their hearts, they will eventually know your worth and respect you.
    Please do not compromise your standard. There are many young women out there who need to be inspired by you, and God who kept you til this very moment will not let you down.

    March 14, 2015 at 1:58 am
  • Dee Reply

    It’s a tough situation, but not an insurmountable one. It’s an issue that needs to be sorted out on her knees, there’s no heart too hard that God cannot change. Thank God your fiance is in agreement with your stand, he needs to be more decisive and firm with his parents on the decision you both have made, to keep the marriage bed undefiled. If you both give in to his parents pressure now, don’t be surprised when they take decisions for your home after the wedding, that’s why you both need to be firm in your decision. It is well with you.

    March 14, 2015 at 2:26 pm
  • Kwandah Reply

    Good thing you and hubby are on the same page. However, such control from your parents in-law (to be) is very unhealthy. Actually your fiance needs to have a firm and frank(yet respectful) talk with his parents to join you both on your stance. Afterall, it’s you and your fiance who would be together forever. I would imagine his parents are not christian, hence their demand for you to take-in before the marriage proceedings begin. Prayer is key as well. You and hubby should pray for conviction. But if he is leaning more on the side of his parents and titlting towards compromising the christian values of chastity which you both hold, then I’m afraid you have to re-evaluate the whole relationship to assess if it’s woth continuing or not. Obedience to God is always better than sacrifice.

    March 16, 2015 at 4:52 pm
    • Kwandah Reply

      Please ignore typos as this was done in a rush:

      March 16, 2015 at 4:55 pm

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