MY MARITAL EXPERIENCE
However, I spent some time evaluating, reading, thinking and observing marriages and I came to a few conclusions which I would be sharing with you today.
1. The quality of any marriage is equal to the mindset, beliefs, attitudes, behaviours and actions of the couple within it. In other words, who you are is what you bring to your marriage. If you are critical, mean and depressed, you cannot experience a happy marriage on a regular basis.
2. Marriage is like a living organism. Organisms move, reproduce, need to be nurtured, grow, etc. Hence, if you stop learning about marriage, your spouse or making worthwhile investments into your spouse’s ‘love tank’, your marital romance will begin to deteriorate.
3. Whatever you give attention to grows. It is called “the law of focus”. If all you focus on is your spouse’s weakness, rather than celebrating his/her strength, you will observe that after a while you will begin to notice more weaknesses until it completely consumes every love you have for him/her.
Most times, marriage is not the problem, it is the couple who needs to change for the better.
When last did you read a book or attend a seminar organised by people who have results in their marriage? Rather than blaming marriage, take up the responsibility and begin to transform your marriage. For practical steps, visit our previous posts.
By Victor Akunna