Romance Boosters: Enjoying Marital Bliss
Romance Booster: Enjoying Bliss
Everything we know about marriage, we learnt informally by observing the people in our environment, but far more than that, we expose ourselves to proven principles that guarantee marital bliss by transforming you and then, your marriage. One of these proven techniques is being proactive by building romance into your marriage. Hence, this week we shall be looking at #RomanceBoosters.
Have you ever wondered why people have different experiences of love and marriage. On one hand, people are lamenting of loneliness and heartbreaks, while on the other hand, people are enjoying bliss, such that they assume that everyone else is experiencing the same. What do these people do differently from others? Is marriage a product of luck or chance?
Most people invest an average of 14 years in school preparing for their career, but only invest about 6 months of premarital counselling into something as life altering as marriage.
“Preparation is a prequisite for acceleration” – Victor Akunna. If you and your spouse take the right steps by building your marital romance, you will be glad you did. Join us as we discuss #RomanceBoosters this week.
ACTION POINT: Discuss with your spouse your idea of romance and listen to theirs as well.
TIP 2: Romance Boosters: Bliss, all the Way!
Relationships are very important. They are so important that we can rarely do without them. They are woven into the fabric of our daily lives, activities, interactions and transactions. As a matter of fact, your ability to manage, nurture and harness your relationships and the resources embedded within them is one of the most powerful skills that will propel you into a beautiful future. If you fail at managing relationships, especially your relationship with your spouse, you may struggle in these times of accentuated social connections. We shall join Sullivan as he shares with us his #RomanceBoosters top tips.
Sullivan: Well, the simple principle that works for me is communicating how much I value my relationship with my wife. The truth is that when we value a relationship, we treat it differently. It’s like doing our best to keep our biggest clients or donors happy, we do this all the time in our organisations. Hence, for me, petty arguments and quarrels don’t even stand a chance. The harmony is more important to me than winning an argument and asserting my rights. This does not mean we do not have disagreements, but when they arise, our intentions are often to project what is most beneficial to our marriage.
Victor: Many thanks for sharing, Sullivan. #RomanceBoosters are beyond techniques, they are the principles and mindsets that influence positive behaviours in our marriages.
ACTION POINT: Evaluate your relationship with your spouse. What thought patterns produce your behaviour, are they serving you?
TIP 3: Romance Booster: Does your Spouse Miss you?Everyday of our lives, we take action. These actions are often to execute the decisions we make to either walk towards or walk away from different experiences. For instance, there are people (friends, family, prospects) we want to see more of because we benefit from and enjoy their presence. On the other hand, there are people who we would rather not see at all, unless there is an emergency or it is absolutely necessary. Hence, thequestion is, what memories do you create for people, especially your spouse? This is another#RomanceBooster!
Talking about your spouse, creating the right experiences and memories must be deliberate. “The only marriage we get by chance is a boring one” |Victor Akunna. There are people who nag and complain all the time and they wonder why their spouses spend more time with others. There are children who disappear into their rooms whenever they hear the voice of their parents or the sound of their vehicles parking (even when they have not been naughty). As a spouse, what experience do you create?
When was last time there was humour and laughter in your home? Have you allowed the challenges you are facing at work or the loss your family experienced to quench your marital romance?
ACTION POINT: Consider this #RomanceBooster and make up your mind to begin to create positive experiences at home for your family. Laughing and playing together will transform your chemistry far beyond your expectations.
TIP 4: Romance Booster: Are you A Supportive Spouse?One of the benefits of a blissful marriage is accountability. Many of us have potentials and goals that we have not realised because we don’t have people that made it their business to hold us accountable, challenging us to keep our promises to ourselves. As a matter of fact, many talented and brilliant people move from one abandoned project to the other, wasting precious resources because of the absence of accountability in their lives.
Talking about accountability, you cannot claim to love someone without challenging him/her to be better. Even as a parent, your proof of love is discipline, curtailing self-destructive habits in your child. You don’t leave him/her to do anything he/she likes. This is why in the end, we often value friends who tell us the truth in love than those who flatter us, telling us what we want to hear. To know that you can always count on your spouse to tell you the truth, watch out for you and support you, irrespective of the situation, is a powerful#RomanceBooster.
What is your attitude to correction, do you encourage your spouse to tell you the truth? Would your spouse say that you are supportive? Do you go out of your way to help out or are you always thinking of your own needs?
ACTION POINT: Ask your spouse to score or rate your support level towards him/her and what would make him/her feel more supported.
TIP 5:Romance Booster: Time just for us!
As we round off our discussion on #RomanceBoosters today, we would like to talk about another important tip that will completely transform your marriage into a blissful experience.
“Marriage is a like a living organism, the way we nurture it determines how it grows.” |Victor Akunna.
We live in unique times, the number of activities that try to catch our attention on a daily basis can be overwhelming. Some of us start our days so early in order to have our time with God, get our children ready for school, drive long distances to work with busy traffic, hold multiple meetings during the day, run online courses, etc. This implies that by the time we get home, most us would have been exhausted. Hence, our children and spouses get the leftover of our attention and energy.
There are things in our lives we may not be able to change or adjust because of the phase of life we are in, however, we believe that “where there is a will, there is a way”. We all find time for anything we consider important, hence our marriages must be given the necessary attention; put it under the ‘urgent and important’ column of your priority.
When was the last time you took time off to be with your spouse? When was the last time you surprised each other with a treat like a gift, a spa, etc?
ACTION POINT: Be deliberate about making out time for your marriage. Consider putting aside specific times in the week to nurture your relationship, develop a routine, a habit.
Photo Credit: emily-rose
Chidi & Victor Akunna
…enjoy blissful romance.