Yesterday, we addressed the role that our thoughts and attitudes play in our marriages and what we can do to get things rolling. This morning, we would be examining how our expectations either boost or ruin our chances for Spicy Romance. Utopian expectations built and nurtured by couples can set a marriage up to fail before it even begins. A good example of such expectation is, “my marriage will make me happy, let me just leave behind these people who don’t like me”. This sounds wonderful and harmless, but in reality, it implies that this individual perceives marriage as an antidote for misery, sorrow and a strategy for escaping the reality of managing easy and difficult relationships. Hence, you have someone whose perception is warped, making it daunting to achieve peace and harmony, let alone Spicy Romance.
Who we are (world view, values, beliefs, expectations, personality, etc.) is who we bring into a relationship. These things are like the foundation on which marriage is built, determining its duration and health. Therefore, marriage itself is not the problem, it’s a perfect institution being managed by imperfect people. This is why we must constantly keep growing and improving. When you improve, your marriage will improve.
What do you think marriage is, could this be the reason why things are not working? Are you expecting your car to fly? Are your expectations accurate? What are you bringing into your marriage?
MAKING PROGRESS
Ensure you and your fiancé/fiancee audit your expectations before saying ” I Do”, and if you are married, set up regular meetings to discuss your expectations about money, children, lifestyle, etc., don’t assume you are on the same frequency.
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Chidi & Victor Akunna
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