Is your spouse your friend? BY Chidi and Victor Akunna
One of the things we have observed in marriage is that it matters who you spend time with. Couples often learn and adopt each other’s habits and world views, sometimes unconsciously. Although, there are no perfect marriages, we can always learn something if we are open minded.
One of the habits we both adopted from some of the marriages around us, particularly those of our parents is the act of regular communication. We grew up seeing or hearing them communicate very early in the morning and late at night, and unconsciously, we have come to adopt that in our marriage as well. This provides us with the opportunity to stay in touch and up to date with what is happening in each other’s life, work place, association, etc. For us, it provides the opportunity to strengthen our formidable friendship.
Friendship is very important to romance and intimacy because nobody wants to be with someone who drives him/her ‘crazy’. Hence, as couples, investing time to communicate and build marital friendship must be given priority. Do you know what is presently ‘bothering’ your spouse? Do you know what dreams he/she has had to let go to be with you? Do you know what he/she believes about marriage? Do you know what he/she likes most about you and him/herself?
Start exploring the person your spouse is becoming, not just who he/she used to be, because that is who you live with.
Chidi & Victor Akunna
Romance & Intimacy Catalysts
Foundation for Family Affairs