Supersingles: Why I called off my marriage! By Chidi & Victor Akunna
Sometimes we talk to singles, we hear comments like, “its me and my man”, “its me and my wife, I don’t care about any in-law”. This is partially possible because most times, the level of family interference depends on culture, family values and some other unique circumstances. For instance, Families in Western countries are more independent because their culture is individualistic; “everyone for themselves”.
On the other hand, families in places like the Middle East, Africa and South America are collectivist; “everyone for everyone”. In other words, your family’s business is everyone’s business. This can be seen in the elaborate weddings in which the couples may not even know two-third of the people present at their wedding. Nonetheless, it is important to consider the culture of the family you are getting married into as this can impact the stability of your marriage.
There are families where everyone is against everyone, people don’t visit each other, people use ‘success’ to oppress themselves, where there are no boundaries, or a dominant individual controls everyone’s life. Now, are there perfect families? I’m afraid not, but there is a reason why parents do some investigations before giving their blessings for marriage. A few days ago, I had a chat with a lady who called off her wedding to a guy whose family does not respect boundaries; his sister interfered in their relationship. As a matter of fact, anytime his mum called her, her first line of talk were often curses, saying things like, “any woman who wants to scatter her children would go mad”. It is true that these things are sometimes born out of insecurity and a desire to protect, but YOU MUST KNOW and ASSESS what you are going into.
“A tree cannot make a forest”, consider your future family because you will live the rest of your life together. All the best! To be continued…
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Chidi & Victor Akunna
Romance & Relationship Catalysts