One of the key aspects of love is acceptance. It is hard to truly love people who make you feel you have to constantly measure up to their standards before they love you. This often feels like the proverbial carrot the Donkey never gets to eat, it only plays the role of control. Unfortunately, this is what many couples do to their spouses without realising it. Some people complain that their spouses’ constant criticisms make them feel like they are walking on eggshells. For some others, going home is like going to sit on ‘vicious’ ants. One of the fastest ways to ruin any marital romance is through making constant sinister criticisms; this erodes people’s esteem. Why would your spouse spend time with you if doing so makes him/her feel less, inadequate and foolish? Who does that?
“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy” Matthew 5:7. This does not mean that we turn blind eyes to specific issues we need to address in our relationships with our spouses, but we must do it appropriately, with grace and kindness. Sometimes, it is better not to talk when you are still bitter or angry, as this can spill over into the discussion, thereby, potentially escalating issues. Are you merciful or highly critical? Some people don’t show mercy because they claim they don’t ‘expect’ mercy, but we think this is their personal choice which should not be transferred to others.
What will you do differently to improve your marital romance? Have you allowed the harsh way you were raised to form who you are? Are you harbouring resentment?
THINK & ACT: Don’t judge your spouse’s weakness with your standard or strength, he/she is different from you. Learn to accept him/her for who he/she is.
Chidi & Victor Akunna
Relationship Catalysts
Connected Hearts Daily Devotional (C) 2016
Valentine’s Day Series 031
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Twitter: @FamilyAffairs05
www.foundationforfamilyaffairs.org
…enjoy blissful romance.
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