Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books.
They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe.
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1 Commenton "Pornography: My Hubby wants us to watch it"
Hi Bro, welldone again for the good work u guys are doing. More strength, more grace, more inspiration and more anointing in Jesus name. Just a little contribution to the pornography questions, I wanted to comment after watching your YouTube post yesterday but did get chanced.
I think it is also important to point out that pornography defiles a man’s mind and promotes unholy thoughts, immoral fantasies and lustful desires. Prov 4:23 says to guard our hearts with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life. Not only do our actions matter to God, but even our thoughts are thoroughly assessed by Him (Matt 5:27-28: PS 139:2; Lk 9:47; Acts 8:22). Phil 4:8 provides a blue print of what kind of thoughts a believer should entertain ( I am assuming the person who asked the question is a believer). Moreover, our thoughts lead to actions which eventually defines our personality over time. The devil is very subtle and crafty in dealing with believers by telling us ‘ it does not matter, after all, its with your wife or husband…’ Give him an inch and he will go a mile…Ephe 4:27 admonishes that we should not give him place at all. Indulging in pornography could lead to masturbation, adultery, fornication and other forms of sexual sins that God detest (1 Cor 6:11-20). James 1:15 says ….when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin….bringeth forth death.
Moreso, considering that men are wired to be moved by what they see…( you know the gender differences in sexuality stuff). Imagine where the wife is not around and the you know the devil has a way of replaying such pornographic visions in the mind which will fire up inordinate passion in the man, how does he quench such fire and overcome such temptation at that time? Quoting the scriptures, speaking in tongues, engaging in other activities to dismiss such thoughts, praying? Yes he could do either or all of the above, but chances are very high that he may succumb to temptation and fall..Prov 6:27 says can a make keep fire in his bosom and not be burned?
The intention might be to boost the couple’s sexual lives and provide more satisfying sexual experiences. However, using pornography to achieve that is a risky path to tread as the devil could hijack the most innocent intentions and turn it to a thorn in the flesh. Like you rightly said, with pornography, you only know when you start, it soon gets out of hand, may become an addiction and eventually bring about unplanned and unfavourable consequences. Total abstinence, flee, and avoid should be the watchword no matter the level of spirituality or thinking you will know when to draw the line.
My advise will be to take all matters to God in prayer. God is interested in every aspect of our lives including sex. After all, He designed sex to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage. Hence, He can help us to enjoy satisfying sexual relationships devoid of sin or any act of unholiness. The Holy Spirit is there to guide and teach us if only we will ask and involve Him in such matters. Couples may also find appropriate/relevant books on such topics helpful. There are books which address sex in marriage from a Christian perspective….books on love languages, building intimacy, communication in marriage etc. could also be useful in advancing quality sexual experiences among couples. In cases of physical problems, couples can seek medical advice or seek appropriate counselling.
Hi Bro, welldone again for the good work u guys are doing. More strength, more grace, more inspiration and more anointing in Jesus name. Just a little contribution to the pornography questions, I wanted to comment after watching your YouTube post yesterday but did get chanced.
I think it is also important to point out that pornography defiles a man’s mind and promotes unholy thoughts, immoral fantasies and lustful desires. Prov 4:23 says to guard our hearts with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life. Not only do our actions matter to God, but even our thoughts are thoroughly assessed by Him (Matt 5:27-28: PS 139:2; Lk 9:47; Acts 8:22). Phil 4:8 provides a blue print of what kind of thoughts a believer should entertain ( I am assuming the person who asked the question is a believer). Moreover, our thoughts lead to actions which eventually defines our personality over time. The devil is very subtle and crafty in dealing with believers by telling us ‘ it does not matter, after all, its with your wife or husband…’ Give him an inch and he will go a mile…Ephe 4:27 admonishes that we should not give him place at all. Indulging in pornography could lead to masturbation, adultery, fornication and other forms of sexual sins that God detest (1 Cor 6:11-20). James 1:15 says ….when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin….bringeth forth death.
Moreso, considering that men are wired to be moved by what they see…( you know the gender differences in sexuality stuff). Imagine where the wife is not around and the you know the devil has a way of replaying such pornographic visions in the mind which will fire up inordinate passion in the man, how does he quench such fire and overcome such temptation at that time? Quoting the scriptures, speaking in tongues, engaging in other activities to dismiss such thoughts, praying? Yes he could do either or all of the above, but chances are very high that he may succumb to temptation and fall..Prov 6:27 says can a make keep fire in his bosom and not be burned?
The intention might be to boost the couple’s sexual lives and provide more satisfying sexual experiences. However, using pornography to achieve that is a risky path to tread as the devil could hijack the most innocent intentions and turn it to a thorn in the flesh. Like you rightly said, with pornography, you only know when you start, it soon gets out of hand, may become an addiction and eventually bring about unplanned and unfavourable consequences. Total abstinence, flee, and avoid should be the watchword no matter the level of spirituality or thinking you will know when to draw the line.
My advise will be to take all matters to God in prayer. God is interested in every aspect of our lives including sex. After all, He designed sex to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage. Hence, He can help us to enjoy satisfying sexual relationships devoid of sin or any act of unholiness. The Holy Spirit is there to guide and teach us if only we will ask and involve Him in such matters. Couples may also find appropriate/relevant books on such topics helpful. There are books which address sex in marriage from a Christian perspective….books on love languages, building intimacy, communication in marriage etc. could also be useful in advancing quality sexual experiences among couples. In cases of physical problems, couples can seek medical advice or seek appropriate counselling.