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The fear of intimacy (Aphenphosmphobia) – Chidi & Victor Akunna

The fear of intimacy (Aphenphosmphobia) – Chidi & Victor Akunna

Fear of intimacy


Sometimes, the reason spouses are not intimate is not because they don’t know how or why they should build an intimate marriage. Rather, it is because some suffer from Aphenphosmphobia, the fear of being in an intimate relationship. This phobia has been proven to be triggered by abandonment and engulfment.

Understanding the source of your phobia

If you suffer from this phobia, you will be scared of getting into an intimate relationship with their spouses because of the nagging thought that they would be abandoned later. Hence, in order to protect themselves, they do their best not to connect with their hearts. Unfortunately, there is no intimacy without vulnerability.

Intimacy Code

On the other hand, intimacy phobia is also triggered by the fear of engulfment. Persons who suffer from such fear losing their freedom, control, personal voice and space. You will often hear such persons say things like “marriage is a prison” and “wedding bands are the smallest handcuffs ever invented”.

To tackle any of the fears mentioned above, do your best to identify what triggers such fears and their original source, while redefining the meaning you attach to the incident that led to it.

Also, consider talking to a therapist who would work with you as you conquer your fears.

Meditate and confess God’s word until your reality matches up to your confessions.

For more help, contact us:

Intimacy code 101: Building Memories 1



Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books.

They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families.  They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe!


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