Romantic Cruise; how it ended!!!

I have discovered in my few years of being married plus counseling and coaching people in their marriage relationships that a lot of people want the best marriage but they are not ready to put in the hard work to make their marriages work. You tell them to go for premarital and post marital counseling, they give you “attitude” . Give them books to read, most will not read and this group of people are the ones always looking for quick fix and microwave prayers for their marital challenges.

Dear friend, there is no quick fix to marriage, marriage takes committment, hard work, wisdom, understanding, agreement, compromise, trust, prayers, God’s direction + intervention and much more to make it work. Know that there are no two marriages alike but if you put in the work, you will see the result that will make your marriage beautiful. God help us all.

Here is a case study for us to discuss, this was shared in my church’s family life ministry program on good Friday. A lot of people got blessed by the topic and I believe some of us here will learn as we discuss this issue.

Note; This Case study came from Daystar Christian Center Family Life Ministry, so copy and give them credit. Biko!! Lol. Enjoy the story and let’s discuss.

John and Mary have been married for 3 years. John is a reserved person who is very conservative and very opinionated in many things. John likes to keep a lot of ‘intermediate’ information to himself. For example, if a business hasn’t materialized, John wouldn’t tell Mary. For John, you don’t communicate the process but the results. Mary always complained about this but John hasn’t changed.

Mary on the other hand is free-spirited, more outgoing and more open in communication. She is always willing to share her views, feeling, actions and impressions with her husband.

Sometime ago, Mary travelled for a 2 week course in the USA and ran into one of her friends who owns a cruise company. Her friend offered her a rebate for a weekend cruise. Mary had a dilemma. John won’t want to hear of a boat cruise. First he has a phobia for water-bodies; he lost his friend in a swimming pool some years ago. Second, John would not agree to the cost of this cruise and would consider it a waste and poor use of money. Mary reasoned that she could afford this cruise without the knowledge of her husband and decided to go for the cruise alone. She went, had fun and returned to Nigeria and never mentioned a word to her husband.

A month after, John was browsing his Facebook page and suddenly saw a cruise company. The company had tagged him. He got interested, liked the page, visited their Facebook page and saw all their pictures. Alas, his wife’s picture was there on the company’s latest boat cruise. He was shocked and stunned. He returned home and showed the wife the pictures. She was embarrassed and apologized. Of course John can’t be placated. He believes there are more things the wife hides from him. Suddenly, he stopped trusting his wife.

The irony of it was that John had planned a romantic cruise for both of them during their next wedding anniversary. He however kept it from her because he wanted it as a surprise. Now in annoyance he cancelled it.

Mary feels cheated. She can’t understand why John is so annoyed when he also keeps information. And much more, it’s John that created the environment that made it impossible for her to tell him

 

Discussion Questions:

1. Must you tell your spouse everything?
   2. Are there things you have chosen to hide from your spouse? If yes, why?
   3. Is withholding information the same as falsehood?
   4 In your opinion, what is the relationship between communication and trust?

BY Bridget Elesin

She is passionate about making the right decisions and choices as led by the Holy Spirit, because the choices I make today will determine my destiny! She also sees herself as a value based person, a networker, motivational speaker and an encourager. Have genuine love for people and interested in making people appreciate their individuality, loves gisting, counselling,writing, creative thinking, reading and being with my favorite persons.

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