In part 1 of this article, we made a submission that Valentine should be a daily event. If this is the case, someone may ask, “how can I afford it? I mean, right now I am struggling to make ends meet. By the time I get home, I am completely tired and exhausted, Lagos traffic seems to have demons that steal every romantic idea and ruins the best of plans. What can I do?”
The best thing we recommend today is to start from where you are. Do you have a dream of your ideal home and marriage? Once you and your spouse agree on that, you will begin to see the little but consistent things you can do daily to make his/her day amazing.
True valentine and romance begin with seeing your spouse through the eyes of value. When you value something/someone, your priority often adjusts to match up with it.
If your wife is a nursing mum who is on maternity leave, wake up early to ensure the generators are filled with fuel, the inverters are charged, the bin is put outside the house for the waste collectors, and the metre is recharged. You can call during lunch break to check up on her, and also study about post-birth hormonal issues (to understand how she may be feeling).
On the other hand, if you are a woman who earns more than your husband, rather than make sinister remarks, you call him a name based on what you see in his future. Check up on him, send him texts during the day, telling him how his suggestions are helping you ‘fly’ on your job.
In other words, romance must be customised to your spouse’s need at the moment. Don’t buy flowers for a woman who wants you to change the baby’s pampers, you may not get the best reaction.
Valentine does not have to be spent at an expensive restaurant. For us, our daily Valentine is spent bathing together, shopping together, speaking together, talking during the day, doing laundry together, cooking together… These daily activities are what make marriages what they are.
What are you willing to commit to doing daily?
Write in the comments section below, two things you are going to do today to capture his/her attention and heart!
Some romantic ideas you can adapt
1. Write a poem.
2. Cook a romantic dinner.
3. Give a full-body massage.
4. Pack a sunset picnic.
5. Burn a CD with love songs.
6. Read poetry together.
7. Leave little love notes everywhere.
8. Send a love email every day.
9. Take a moonlit walk on the beach.
10. Take a bath together (one of our favourites!).
11. Take a walk down memory lane — visit some of the special places from your early days of dating.
12. Make a scrapbook with photos, mementos, and little notes from your lives together.
13. Bring home great take-out, and light some candles.
14. Fix something or fix up the house just to make your partner happy.
15. Slow dance to romantic music.
16. Take a nap together.
17. Make a list of everything you love about him or her.
18. Write a love letter.
19. Clip or email things that make you think of him or her, every day.
20. Go to a movie, ignore the movie, and make out like teenagers.
21. Groom yourself, and try to look good for your partner.
22. Take some quiet time and talk about your day.
23. Pretend you’re going on a first date — show up at the door with flowers, all dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned, looking spiffy. Recreate the first time.
24. Create a little box with a bunch of your partner’s favorite things inside.
25. Hold hands, and walk somewhere with lots of pretty lights.
26. Say I love you. In a different way, every day.
27. Blindfold your partner. Use a feather. Slowly.
28. Declare your love, very publicly.
Source: Zenhabit.net
Chidi and Victor Akunna
Romance & Intimacy Catalysts
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